Our Gen-Z Guide for Parents
We are part of the first generation who never really knew life without smartphones. We’re writing this because we’ve seen - in ourselves, our friends, and younger teens - how the online world can shape our mental health, relationships, identity, and attention.
We want to share what helped, what didn’t, and what we wish parents understood sooner. This is not about blame. It’s about teamwork - young people and grown ups figuring out the digital world together.
1. What It Really Feels Like to Grow Up Online
2. What Parents Often Get Wrong (and How to Get It Right)
3. The Digital Issues Young People Face Today
4. What Actually Helps: Advice from Gen-Z
5. What Young People Wish Parents Knew
6. A Simple Digital Wellbeing Plan for Any Family
We don’t need perfect adults. We need present ones.
Growing up online is complicated - for us and for you. But when adults try to understand our world rather than shut it down, we feel safer, more open, and more grounded.
Walk through our digital world with us - not ahead of us, not behind us. This way we will trust you with the things that really matter.
1. What It Really Feels Like to Grow Up Online
We’re constantly connected, and constantly overwhelmed.
From the moment we wake up to when we fall asleep, our phones pull us in. Notifications feel like responsibilities. If we don’t reply fast enough, we worry we’ll upset someone or be left out.
Online life feels like a competition we never signed up for.
Likes, streaks, filters, stories - even when we know it’s not real life, it can still make us question ourselves.
We look confident online, but we’re learning by making mistakes.
People assume we’re “good with tech,” but using apps isn’t the same as knowing how to handle pressure, comparison, misinformation, or digital boundaries. We’re figuring it out as we go.
Most of our struggles are invisible to adults.
Friendship drama, group chat expectations, cyberbullying, confusing content, influencer pressure - it all happens in private corners of apps that adults often never see.
2. What Parents Often Get Wrong (and What Helps Instead)
❌ Jumping straight to banning things
✅ Working with us on healthy boundaries
When parents go straight to “no phones,” it teaches us to hide things, not deal with them. What really helps is when adults say:
“Let’s set the rules together.”
“What feels fair?”
“What boundaries help you feel less stressed?”
When we feel heard, we’re far more open.
3. The Digital Issues Young People Face Today
1. Pressure & Anxiety
Group chats that never stop, feeling like we always have to be available, and drama that keeps going all night. It’s exhausting.
2. Constant Comparison
Perfect bodies, perfect lives, perfect everything. Even though we know it’s edited, it still affects our self-worth.
3. Algorithm Pressure
Apps are designed to keep us scrolling. It’s not a lack of discipline, it’s intentional design.
4. Exposure to Harmful Content
We can accidentally come across things we’re not ready for - from graphic content to unrealistic beauty standards to extreme opinions.
5. Privacy & Oversharing
We often share too much before we understand the consequences.
4. What Actually Helps: Advice From Gen-Z
1. Talk about online life like it’s normal - because it is!
Instead of: “Why are you always on your phone?”
Try these :
“What apps are you using lately?”
“What’s fun online right now? What’s stressful?”
“Anything weird or confusing you’ve seen recently?”
When adults treat digital life as real life, we open up.
2. Set boundaries that help us - not rules that punish us.
The boundaries that actually work include:
Phones out of bedrooms at night
Turning off notifications during homework
A “cool off” rule before posting when emotional
A weekly family phone-free hour
It helps when adults follow these boundaries too. It feels fair, and it models what healthy looks like.
3. Model what you want us to do
We notice everything. If our parents are scrolling during dinner or checking messages while driving, it sends a message. We respond much better when we see things like:
Tech-free mealtimes
Phones charging outside the bedroom
Adults taking phone-free walks
When you lead by example, it doesn’t feel like hypocrisy - it feels like teamwork. Take a look in the mirror before you judge us.
4. Build critical thinking, not fear.
We need support to question what we see online. Helpful questions include:
Who made this?
Why do they want me to see it?
How does this content make me feel?
Is this trying to get me to react, buy, or click?
This makes us resilient, not scared.
5. Stay calm, stay curious, stay connected
Your reaction shapes everything. If we think you’ll panic, we’ll hide things. If you listen first, we’ll come to you. The most helpful thing adults can say is:
“Thank you for telling me. We’ll figure this out together.”
5. What Young People Wish Parents Knew
Social media isn’t “just fun”, it’s where our social lives happen.
Social media experiences are varied and diverse. It is not just all harmful content and scrolling.
We use social media purposefully for many reasons, including for learning.
We do need boundaries, even when we resist them.
We open up more when adults don’t judge.
We all make mistakes online.
We want social media to be improved but most don’t believe the under 16 age restriction is the answer. We would prefer to have better designed social media rather than having it taken away entirely.
We want you to learn with us, not control us.
6. A Simple Digital Wellbeing Plan for Any Family
Daily:
30 minutes phone-free downtime
No phones during meals
“One good thing, one weird thing we saw online today”
Weekly:
Look at screen time together without shame
Do one offline activity or hobby
Review privacy settings or apps we’re using
Monthly:
A quick “reset chat” about what’s working
Clean out apps that cause stress
Talk calmly about new risks or trends
Flipp The Script With These Instant Tips:
● Create Phone-Free Zones:
This means areas of the house in which phones and devices are simply not allowed. For example: bedrooms, dining room, bathrooms, upstairs etc.
● Create Screen Time Schedules:
Designate specific times for phone use, such as after homework or chores are done.
● Encourage Offline Activities:
Promote hobbies, drawing, painting, sports, reading, or family games as alternatives.
● No Phones in Bedrooms:
This is a HUGE one. Keep phones out of kids' bedrooms at night to encourage better sleep and reduce distractions.
